Whomp ‘Em ・ 西遊記ワールド2 天上界の魔神
Developed by: Jaleco
Published by: Jaleco
Release date: December 7th, 1990 (JP), March 1991 (NA)
The two biggest things to rock 1980’s Japan were Dragon Ball and the Famicom. Bandai churned out 8 FC Dragon Ball games during the console’s lifespan, and they were living like kings on that delicious bubble economy money. To this day, only one DB game hasn’t been developed under Bandai, and it came out for the Super Cassette Vision in the before times of 1986. Put another way, there was no way Bandai was about to let someone else make a game based off of the manga mega hit. By the way, you will be forgiven for not knowing what the Super Cassette Vision is, because I didn’t either until seven seconds ago.
Dragon Ball, especially in its early chapters, was based loosely on the ancient Chinese novel Journey to the West. Son Goku in particular borrowed a lot from the character of Sun Wukong, the monkey king. Both characters had a cheeky attitude, a flying nimbus cloud, a magical extending bo staff, and a penchant for martial arts. So maybe Bandai wasn’t willing to share Goku with other game developers, but Wukong belongs to no one but the public domain. Ooooooh.
As a result, the 1980’s Japanese games scene sported a hefty handful of Journey to the West inspired titles. Chuuka Taisen, SonSon, Yuyuki, Professional Mahjong Goku, Saiyuki World 1 and 2, and Super Monkey Daibouken were a few on the Famicom alone. Maybe some of these games were made with a genuine love of the source material behind them…but when the monkey king is portrayed as a little anime dude with over the top powers and spiky hair, one can only assume.
Now what does all this talk of Goku and 16th century Chinese novels have to do with Whomp ‘Em on the NES!? The original Famicom version was one of those JttW games, that’s what: Saiyuki World 2. Also, sidebar: Whomp ‘Em has gotta be one of the absolute worst titles of any NES game. If you can think of a more awful one, I’d hate to hear it.
The localization process to make Saiyuki World 2 into Whomp ‘Em was a long and arduous one, the path of which was paved with the blood, sweat and tears of a lone Jaleco employee fighting against the tides. I like to think that this was the same Jaleco employee who was tasked with retooling Totally Rad – another Jaleco effort that was super Japanese before coming stateside.
Just screwing with you! Other than editing the main character’s sprite and changing a panda bear to a generic brown bear, next to nothing was done to Saiyuki World 2 before Jaleco slam dunked it onto North American store shelves. They didn’t put a shred of effort into retooling the super obvious Eastern environments that went along with Wukong, resulting in the visual discordance of this Aboriginal warrior running through the bamboo forests of China. That’s the Americanized replacement for Sun Wukong, by the by: Soaring Eagle, a little guy sporting some warpaint and a spear. What’s he doing and why? Shit, I dunno. Saving the world and/or a princess? Going on a spirit quest? Retrieving a stolen MacGuffin? Take your pick, one of them is probably right.
Whomp ‘Em plays like if Mega Man had a spear instead of an arm cannon. The levels (which you can choose in any order, natch) will feel like familiar territory to fans of the blue bomber, and the boss at the end of the stage has a power for you to take for yourself once you beat ’em. These range from blowtorches and spiderwebs to more practical abilities, like the Rush Jet nimbus cloud, which you can hop on to navigate tricky parts of stages. The music isn’t anything to write home about, but Soaring Eagle controls just right, and the graphics are colourful and cute. It does a lot of things right!
So it’s a B-grade Mega Man game by design, but there are a few differences that set it apart from Capcom’s series. You can expand your health bar by collecting gourds that drop from defeated enemies. Farming these can make the stages feel like a bit of a cake walk, but I think this game would be a huge pain in the ass without it. Another distinction is the downward thrust attack you can execute as you fall from a decent height. This is an instant point in the favour of any game to have in my eyes, because it is the coolest thing a character with a long weapon can do, point blank period. It’s just science. Sadly, the hit detection on this move is spotty as hell – you’ll successfully land two hits with no problems, only for the third to miss and result in your character taking damage…but only sometimes. It feels messy and detracts from what should be an otherwise cool feature.
I have some exciting news for any masochists who may be reading this! Jaleco managed to capture the sensation of getting your teeth pulled in video game format, all the way back in 1991! Let me explain: conquering the six stages takes you to Dr. Wily’s Fortress the Final Test. The first half of this stage forces the player to constantly utilize the power-ups to navigate badly designed obstacles, but it just feels clunky and boring to do so. But the worst part is that if you fall down a pit in the second half of the level, you don’t die…but you start all the way back from the beginning of the whole ass stage. Meaning you have to re-navigate the downright painful obstacles with the finicky navigation powers again. I’m shuddering just remembering it. There’s more to whine about when it comes to this last stage, but I’ll just let you imagine how hellish the “invisible wall blowtorch propeller in space” sequence is instead of digging into it.
Dumb final level aside, Whomp ‘Em is a solid platformer. The visuals and audio are on point, the controls are lovely, and 7 out of 8 stages are well designed and just the right length. It might not do anything to set the world on fire, but it’s a fun little romp (whomp?) that’s worth the time of any platformer junkies who haven’t given it a shot yet. I think Whomp ‘Em would feel right at home on the Switch’s NES Online lineup, but you’ll have to pick up the cart or emulate it if you want to play it, because this thing will N E V E R get a modern re-release with that bonehead-ass title. The 90’s sure were wild!
Final Rating:
NESJunk 