The Best (and Worst) of NES Hockey Games

There were 673 games released for the North American NES, and a whopping 125 of those were sports titles. Through some sick twist of fate, only four of those were themed around the best game you can name: hockey. Hockey’s my personal favourite sport, so let’s hope this is a case of quality over quantity…

1. Ice Hockey (Nintendo, 1988)

Ice Hockey by Nintendo is a rip roarin’ good time. There are three types of players to choose from; skinny guys who skate fast but have weak shots, guys who are average all rounders, and heavy set dudes who really rule the roost. They move slow, but can shoot and body check so much better than the other players that they’d be called “broken” by today’s standards, so they’re the MVPs without question. You can pick any combination of plays for your four-man team and wail on the competition. The music is poppy and fun, the graphics are adorably simple, and the game comes with an especially cool option that lets you pick how fast it moves, meaning you can square off against your opponents at a breakneck speed and really let the adrenaline pump. Kinda makes you wanna punch somebody square in the mouthguard. Or maybe that’s just me. Ice Hockey is pure and simple arcade-y fun, with an emphasis on simple; there’s no tournaments or differences between the teams besides jersey colour, so once you’ve played one game, you’ve seen everything Ice Hockey has to offer. Even so, I’d say it’s absolutely worth playing if you like sports games even a little.

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2. Blades of Steel (Konami, 1988)

Lace up your skates and get onto the Konami Arena, because it’s time to play BLADES! OF STEEL! This is the NES hockey game held in the highest regard by NES players, and for good reason. The sound design is top notch, and the game itself controls like an absolute dream. Blades of Steel cuts a satisfyingly quick pace without being overwhelming, ensuring there’s never a dull moment. What gives Blades a cut above the rest, in my opinion at least, is the polish on display here. The jumbotron plays animations, hilariously self-indulgent ads for Konami games, and even a microgame of Gradius between periods. The tournament mode is just the right length, not overstaying its welcome, but still providing just enough challenge to be fun. Oh, and the fighting. Few things are as satisfying as getting into a slapfest with a dude for trying to take the puck off you. I also deeply appreciate that there’s no annoying as hell offside rule to halt the game! Just go for broke and have a good time. There’s next to nothing negative to say about it – the only “bad” thing is that the game’s overall colour choices kinda suck. Most of the team jerseys and the playfield itself consisting of dull, dark palettes; I really can’t fathom why they chose grey for the rink. Other than that, Blades of Steel is top tier. It’s one of the NES games I had as a kid, but nostalgia goggles aren’t blinding my vision when I say that even today, you can’t go wrong with a bit of Blades.

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3. Pro Sport Hockey (Jaleco, 1993)

so-so
/səʊˈsəʊ/
adjective, adverb

Definition:
Neither very good nor very bad. “A happy ending to a so-so season.”
Synonyms:
indifferent, mediocre, middling, Pro Sport Hockey on the Nintendo Entertainment System

Yeah. Pro Sport Hockey makes use of the professional teams and the actual players that were on them at the time of the game’s creation, which was still a novel idea at the time. The NES flickering can make it so it’s especially hard to parse what’s going on when the players on both teams scramble for the puck all at once. Controls felt like there was a slight delay to them; playing Blades of Steel immediately after Pro Sport Hockey only highlighted how subtly sluggish Pro Sport felt in comparison. Little cutscenes in between periods and when someone is penalized elevate the experience somewhat, adding a dash of personality to what would otherwise be a run of the mill sports game. Far and away the worst part of this game – the function that drives it down from “not too shabby” to “uggghhh” – is the tedious stamina system. The longer a game goes on and your team gets bashed around by the opposition, the more weak and sluggish your players get. By the third period the game descends into a painful slog, as your guys will always be gasping for breath while the opponent’s team is mysteriously in top form the whole game through. Props to them for trying something different, but different doesn’t always mean good. All in all, Pro Sport Hockey is the equivalent of eating white bread with nothing on it: bland. You won’t be missing too much if you decide to pass this one up.

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4. Wayne Gretzky Hockey (THQ, 1991)

There’s a rumour that professional NHL athletes are forced to play Wayne Gretzky Hockey on the NES as punishment when they play badly. This instils them with an emasculating sense of fear, ensuring they play better during their next game lest they be subjected to this piece of poop once more. Even for the length a single game, Wayne Gretzky Hockey was hard to stomach. For reasons I’ll never understand, the game has an overhead perspective, meaning the players look like tiny blobs with sticks. To add to the confusion, teams can potentially be the same colour as each other, so good luck figuring out who to pass to if you find yourself in that situation. You switch which guy you’re controlling with Select instead of A or B, which just feels wrong on so many levels. On top of all this, Wayne Gretzky Hockey commits the ultimate cardinal sin: if a player on YOUR team gets the puck, the game doesn’t auto-switch you to that player. By the time you’ve mashed Select enough times to cycle through your entire team and switch to the guy that has the puck, he’s since shot it into a wall or passed it to the other team. In case that didn’t make it obvious, the AI is so stupid it’s staggering. Wayne Gretzky laughed his way to the bank while all fifteen people who bought his crapola game suffered as a result of it. If junk like this got the Nintendo Seal of Quality, it truly makes me wonder what kind of trash ended up getting rejected by them. You’d be better off using the cartridge as a hockey puck.

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Final verdict:

Ice Hockey and Blades of Steel are still excellent for quick pick up and plays, and are still worth taking a stab at today. You could easily leave Pro Sport Hockey to the side, but there are worse sports games on the NES. Like Wayne Gretzky Hockey for example. If you or someone you love has been exposed to Wayne Gretzky Hockey on NES, there’s a toll-free number you can dial to see if you’re eligible for compensation.

P.S. Ike! Ike! Nekketsu Hockey-bu on the Famicom is an excellent hockey game too but this list was North American NES only. (´・ω・`)