Panic Restaurant ・ わんぱくコックンのグルメワールド (1992)
Developed by: EIM
Published by: Taito
Released in: NA, JP (1992), EU (1994)
Old Chef Cookie’s mortal enemy Snidely Whiplash Dick Dastardly Waluigi Ohdove has stolen his beloved restaurant out from under his nose! Not only has Cookie earned the ire of Villain McBadguy, but hordes of evil toasters, slithering fried eggs, and french fry bastards all want him DEAD! According to the manual, even Dateline was reporting blow-by-blows of the culinary scandal in real time, so this must’ve been the biggest thing to ever rock the gourmet world since sliced bread. Are you a bad enough sous to help Cookie serve up the smackdown and take back what’s rightfully his?
Panic Restaurant is a platformer extraordinaire designed and composed by the late, great Kenji Eno (D/D2, Real Sound, Enemy Zero). The full breadth and scope of his fascinatingly bizarre stamp on the video games world is a story too big to cram into a little blog post like this one. Even without the intense sensory depravation and complimentary condoms Eno’s later games would flaunt, Panic Restaurant is a worthwhile stop on his wild journey.
You can feel that certain je ne sais quoi NES-era Taito was known for in every last pixel. Chef Cookie controls like a dream, and there are rare few instances the game feels unfair. There are silly weapons to make use of and spice up your experience throughout – a spoon for longer range, plates for throwing, and sporks to pogo stick around on. Every level’s graphics are lively and make use of pleasing pastel palettes throughout, and every foodstuff enemy is bursting at the seams with humour and panache. The soundtrack is one of the best parts of an all-around excellent experience – each level’s track is poppy and well composed, making top tier use of the NES’s sound capabilities. I really don’t have a bad thing to say about Panic Restaurant. It’s mighty tasty!
As was the case with most NES games that came out past 1991, Panic Restaurant and its aging 8-bit contemporaries were overlooked by gamers unjustly turning their noses up at any dish the NES tried to serve, citing “bad” graphics when compared to the Super Nintendo’s 16-bit offerings. The console wars made everyone kinda stupid like that. Those factors combined with a small print run have made Panic Restaurant one of the rarer and more sought after carts on the system. If you’re the kind of person who just has to have a physical cartridge in hand to enjoy a game, be prepared to drop over $300 US on the cart alone. A copy with the box is easily upwards of $1000 US. Yeesh!
Even the Famicom version is pricy! Speaking of, it actually differs slightly from the US/EU editions in a few ways. Taking up the protagonist mantle in lieu of Cookie is Kokkun, a little chef character who attacks with neck straining headbutts instead of Cookie’s trusty frypan. The difficulty was also watered down in the Japanese release, making an already easy game even easier. The bosses in particular are a total joke, and most of the fights with them will be over in a manner of moments. As a matter of fact, I’d say that’s the one and only bad point of Panic Restaurant – it’s a total walk in the park, and most players will be able to zip through the game’s six levels in no time flat.
All in all, Panic Restaurant is a five-star Michelin game; a high quality platforming romp that few have gotten to experience. While the game’s length may leave something to be desired, what time there is with Chef Cookie is a blast from start to finish. If you’re open to emulation, flash carts, or dropping a few Benjamin’s on a single NES cart, it’s well worth your time. Note to self: come up with a food analogy to put here later.
Final rating:
NESJunk 